Fragments
by ackerqueen
Summary: Eren's wandering around on his own and Mikasa comes to take him back. However, things get a little too extreme when the voices in Eren's head start acting up. [Rated T for harmful content.]


_o uo. My first "romantic" EreMika fic. I tried to stay true to canon Eren here, tbh. This is my first time portraying him outside of a crackish way like I did with 'Eren's Haircut' { lmao poor Eren }. I have no idea whereabouts in the manga this is set so I'll leave that to your imagination. I dedicated 5 hours to this fic; no lie. Started at 3AM, finished at 8AM. I'm so fucking tired, you have no idea... I actually typed; "the voice in his tone" and "Mikasa could feel tears well up in her arms." _

_Also, excuse the random middle name headcanon. I decided to incorporate my Mikasa's middle name that I have for her on my Mikasa blog [which is forctisx] and I explored Dark!Eren a little, but I think I may have went a little too extreme._

_Anyway, some of this may be hard to read, so I'd suggest reader discretion is advised. It's not that bad { at least, I don't think it is }, but just to be on the safe side. Moving on:_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Fresh air, maybe a good idea. At least, that's what he thought. It had never occured to the boy that it was probably dangerous to be out here at an ungodly hour whilst everyone else was still asleep. He would be fine, he didn't need to worry. No one from the Military Police would be up at this time of day, unless they had some sort of night shift thing they did. Now, _that _was ungodly.

Hands in his pockets, Eren wandered the perimeter around the woods and cabin, reveling in the silence and the fact that the only sound was the gentle breeze that whipped through the leaves. It forced him to _think _however, think about the crappy situation they were in, about Reiner and Bertholdt. They had been friends, he had even _trusted _them, called them comrades, fought with them. It made Eren sick to his stomach to even think about their names now. Hands clenched into his fists and he punched a nearby tree next to him.

_I'll destroy them. Tear them all to fucking pieces..._

Fingers dug into the bark, but did not press enough to draw blood, which was more than a good thing considering what happens if he draws _any _blood from his hand with a goal in mind. Especially a dark one, leaving him with an intense rage so blinding that he forgot who people were sometimes. He still felt guilty about that time he had attacked Mikasa when he lost control and left her with a visible scar on her cheek, serving as a constant reminder of how he hadn't been able to control himself in that moment. A constant reminder of his guilt. She had even defended him to Jean, albeit, with the _stupidest _excuse ever it almost made Eren laugh.

Almost.

"Eren?" A familiar, soft but cool voice rang out.

_Speak of the Devil_.

"What are you doing out here?" The familiar figure of Mikasa Ackerman asked. Had she really just _asked _that? She was out here by herself, too!

"I could ask you the same question," he replied, staring at her as she walked towards him after he had dropped his hand from the tree and turned around to face her. It was hard to see her expression through the darkness, considering most of her dark hair had taken up her face. The fact that her eyes were a dark shade, too, didn't help either. Her skin was pale, though, making her look kind of like a really creepy ghost from the distance he was standing.

Once she had reached him, she pulled the ebony strands that had encompassed most of her face from it, just to reveal the one thing he hated most seeing on her personnel. That slash in her skin that _he _himself had given her. He averted his gaze, staring at his shoes. Mikasa's eyebrows furrowed, but she made no move to question it.

"It's not safe out here," she announced in her usual monotonous voice, making to grab his wrist and pull him along. Eren's eyes widened, a "hey!" passing his lips as Mikasa's grasp clenched tightly around his wrist as she pulled him along, treating him like...

...Like a little kid. Again. A little kid that had done something wrong and was to be scolded for it, for being out late at night { or more like at an unseemly hour of the morning } when it wasn't safe.

_Gee, Mikasa's __**always **__protecting you, isn't she? _

The voice in his head asked whenever something like this occured. Mikasa would treat him like a baby or her little brother, and this voice would pop into his head, insulting him, calling him things he knew he wasn't, but he couldn't deny Mikasa was better than him, faster than him, stronger than him and he couldn't deny they were right either - _always _protecting him.

Wrenching his hand free of the Asian girl's grasp as she whirled around to face him, still no expression on her face, being used to this kind of behaviour by now. She made to grab for his wrist again.

"Eren, come on," she prodded, reaching for him but Eren swatted her away, taking a step back, brows furrowing over his light eyes. "We need to -"

"No, Mikasa! Stop treating me like I'm your little brother or your kid!" He yelled. How many times had he said that and how many times had that look of hurt flashed across her face? He felt a twinge of guilt whenever he saw it, but it was nothing compared to the flaring anger he felt, coupled with the voices inside his head. The voices that imitated the one of his mother.

_You're weak._

_**Shut up!**_

_Useless..._

_**I said, shut up!**_

_Always relying on __**Mikasa **__to protect you. How pathetic._

_**SHUT UP!**_

"Eren, I - " Mikasa began, moving towards him again but he cut her off.

"I don't want to hear it, Mikasa." He bit out, his voice bitter. Mikasa blinked, an expression of surprise crossing her features. They had their fair share of fights before, but never anything as bad as this. Maybe, because there had always been someone around to break them out of it before it got as bad as this, but everyone was asleep. No one would be around to stop him now, before he lost his mind.

Even Eren knew he was losing it already, losing it because things weren't supposed to be this way. For once, just for once, _he_ wanted to be the one protecting _her. _Even if it was only for one day, maybe even one hour, a minute, a second - she didn't need protecting because she was Little Miss Perfect. She never messed up at anything, exceeding in every single thing she bloody well did. He was sure her middle name was Perfect instead of Heidi.

Mikasa Perfect Ackerman.

He was boiling with rage and resentment, at himself and her. At her just for being the way she was, stronger and faster and better than him in every aspect. At himself for _not _being the way she was, for not being able to protect her the way she was him. He never realised he was shaking until Mikasa's words rang out.

"Eren, are you alright? You're paler than usual..." Her voice trailed off when he turned around, not wanting to face her right now and end up doing something the both of them would regret.

_Leave, now_.

His thoughts were voiced without him realising it, leaving Mikasa with a hurt look on her face. Little did she know he was only saying it for her own good, trying to protect her from himself. He knew she wouldn't, though, despite the heaviness in his tone. He would have to be an idiot to think she would ever leave him - it was annoying, sometimes. He just wanted to be alone, to calm down, to not hurt her for a second time. The reasonable part of his mind was taking over before he could hear her footsteps getting closer, her voice travelling through the thick air again.

"Eren?" She asked, she sounded... Hesitant, almost afraid. Something in her voice... However, Eren pushed this thought to the back of his mind, growing increasingly annoyed as he whirled around in a swift motion, actually punching the tree hard enough to draw blood this time, except it was only a scrape.

"Are you deaf, Mikasa?! I said _leave!_" _For your own sake, __**please**_.

Eren's mind had only registered that Mikasa had flinched, taking a step back after he had yelled at her. He looked at her, then, _really _looked at her. There was something in her eyes along with springing tears that she desperately tried to hold back. The look in her eyes... It was fear.

Fear.

Was she afraid of him? _Really _afraid of him, like the Military Police were? He straightened, taking steps torwards her. He realised she was shaking now, but he felt no guilt, no remorse for her in this moment. His jealousy and anger had completely engulfed him by now.

_So weak. So useless. So __**pathetic**_.

He steadied her by her wrists that were hanging by her sides, closing the gap between so he could feel her shaky breaths on his face. He stared straight into her wide, dark eyes. He was suddenly reminded of a scared little girl that he had been trying to save as he stared into them, but the memory did nothing to snap him out of whatever darkness he was in

"You're afraid of me," he voiced, his voice deathly quiet.

"N - no, I'm not," she replied, trying to keep her voice cool but it betrayed her. It wavered slightly, which only confirmed Eren's suspicions. It hurt him a little, somewhere, to know that she was scared. Scared of him in this moment, but it did nothing to stop him.

"Don't lie to me," his voice took on a quiet, superior and almost hurtful tone as his grip around one of her wrists tightened. He barely registered her flinch as she flexed her fingers beneath his grasp, trying to wriggle free. A sound that he was hurting her passed her lips, but he never registered it.

_Stop! You're hurting her!_

The reasonable part of his mind was trying to argue with him, to try and make him see sense, but the darker part... It was too strong right now, maybe even stronger.

_It's her own fault. She didn't listen_.

It seemed as if Eren was being fed words by the darker side of him, except replacing 'she' with 'you.' Mikasa's eyes widened along as Eren's grip around her wrist.

"Eren, what are you doing?!" Mikasa asked, her voice rising with fear and panic. Eren glanced down, looking like he was ashamed. For a second, Mikasa thought he was going to stop but his grip only tightened around her right wrist, making her wince in pain.

"Always treating me like a baby, like I'm inferior to you," it was a mumble, but Mikasa could make it out perfectly. Tighter, tighter.

"Eren, ow!" Mikasa tried to yank her wrist free, but his grip was surprisingly strong. "Eren, please! I'm sorry! Please, let -"

She never got to finish her sentence as she felt a sickening snap in her wrist. Her words had been replaced with a pained scream of agony. Now, _that _was enough to yank Eren out of his whatever entrancement he had been in as he watched the Asian girl in front of him cradle her broken wrist in front of her.

Eren could only stare at his hand in horror as she sank to the floor. She was deathly pale, probably either wanting to pass out or be sick from the pain.

_I - I broke her wrist... I... What's wrong with me?_

He hurt her. He lost control and he wasn't even in Titan form this time. Light eyes slid away from his hand to look at her. She was sitting up now, dark hair covering her face, cradling her broken wrist. The wrist _he _had broken.

_She's incapacitated now. She won't be able to fight or use 3DMG. Isn't this what you wanted?_

_No, no, no, no. No, it's not. I - I never meant for things to go this far. I never meant to hurt her... I'm a monster..._

He could hear choked sobs escaping from her as he kneeled down next to her, feeling like shit. He had hurt her again, while he was _human_. The fact that he had been in his human form had made him feel even worse, feel like the monster he had always thought of himself as.

"Let me see," his voice was soft now, almost pleading. Mikasa shook her head, no words leaving her lips. Only the sound of whimpering. He was reminded, again, of that crying baby girl who had given her the fabric around her neck and invited her into his home. Exhaling loudly, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Mikasa," She flinched. _Actually _flinched. It just made his feelings at the moment worsen as he reluctantly removed his hand from her shoulder.

_No, no, no. Please. Please don't be scared. I... I didn't mean to hurt you. Mikasa, I am so sorry. Mikasa..._

"Please."

She let him take her hand, pressing his fingers into it. When she flinched at times, whispering 'ow' or hissing in pain, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. Without a word, he managed to scoop her up off of the floor, carrying her bridal style towards the cabin. He then saw it, the tears that had tracked down her cheeks and the look of hurt in her eyes.

Eren sighed lightly. He wouldn't blame her if she gave him a punch square in his face later.

Once they had reached the cabin, Eren immediately went searching he knew he could trust most with this information with a passed out Mikasa in his arms, not being able to hold the pain any longer, which made him wonder how bad the injury was. Although, Eren was impressed by how long she had managed to sustain it.

Finding Armin had been a hard task. He checked the boys' room first, but no one was there. Next, the dining room but only Sasha and Connie were there and he made sure to be silent so they wouldn't view the hurt Mikasa in his arms. Finally, he found him in the sitting room and thankfully, he was alone.

"Eren!" Armin sounded gleeful, before looking at Eren's distraught features as he held the limp body in his arms. The tone in his voice changed from one of glee to one of panic.

"W - What happened to Mikasa?!" Armin asked as he took Mikasa's wrist. Unfortunately, it was the one he had broken. "Eren, why is her wrist broken?! Eren, what happened?!"

It didn't help that Armin's voice was frantic. Eren sighed, suggesting that he sit down before he delved into the detail.

Eren was surprised to find that Armin only sighed and called him an idiot. Albeit, a stupid idiot. Eren was half relieved that Armin still viewed him as his best friend, a human but half disappointed that he didn't even try and punch him in the face, at least. Honestly, he would have let him.

After a few minutes, Armin had come back with Hange, who had a sullen expression on her face. Captain Levi followed closely behind, gesturing his arms out to take the limp girl without a word. Eren was hesitant, but handed her over anyway.

Within a few minutes, everyone heard of the news that Eren had broken Mikasa's wrist, but no one had pestered Eren about it, made him feel worse. Not even Jean. He almost found himself wanting them to, though, thinking he deserved it.

When Mikasa emerged from the room, a sling around her arm to support her wrist, everyone but Eren had rushed up to her to make sure she was okay. She brushed them off, holding up a hand to suggest she was fine. Armin immediately caught the message when she glanced at him, racking his brain for a good excuse.

"Hey, we should go and get something to eat now," he suggested. Sasha and Connie didn't need anymore convincing already darting through the room. However, Jean sighed, rolling his eyes at the two dark haired people in the room. Armin hit him for something they both couldn't hear, as his voice was a mutter but Eren and Mikasa both had a feeling they didn't want to know.

The atmosphere around them was intense, Mikasa sitting across from him as she placed herself down slowly. How could she even stand to be in the same room with him right now after what he had done? Eren would never understand Mikasa at times. He had done this before, and yet she still defended him. How could she not even hate him? Not even a little bit...

"I don't hate you, Eren, if that's what you're thinking," Mikasa voiced, her voice cool and calm, unlike how it had been moments prior. It made him uncomfortable how she could talk it about it so calmly. "You were out of control."

Eren sighed. She was defending him again. Defending his actions, defending what he did just to try and make him out to be innocent. Something he was far, far from. Silence filled the air again, for what seemed like a long time before Eren decided to break it.

"Mikasa?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry."

"Eren - " Mikasa began, but she was quickly cut off by him.

"Mikasa, don't," he pleaded, though his voice was sharp. "Don't defend me. Not this time."

Mikasa's mouth closed, obeying. Silence filled the room again before Eren was decided it was about to time to get to the subject that they were both avoiding.

"You were actually scared of me for a moment there, weren't you?" He asked, his eyes trying to meet her gaze. She glanced up at him for a second, momentarily surprised that he would bring up such a thing. Honestly, she had been desperately trying to avoid it and hoped that he would forget about it. Seeing as he already knew the answer, Mikasa saw no point to lie.

"A little, yes," she mumbled, hiding behind the scarf as she pulled it up over her nose as he sighed, standing up, making his way over to her. He kneeled down next to her reaching out to take away the hand that was hovering on her scarf. Fingers gently gripped on to her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze, even though she averted her eyes away.

"Look at me," he ordered, his tone soft but demanding. Her eyes slid slowly to face him and Eren found himself rendered speechless at the teary look in her eyes. Mikasa's eyes widened as he pulled her into his arms, taking her place of where she had been sitting. Mikasa could feel tears well up in her eyes, relishing in the warmth he radiated. The immense Titan shifter warmth that only made Mikasa fall asleep once she was finished sobbing into his chest, Eren stroking her hair.

They had done it when they were children. He would find her crying, usually over her parents, and he would sit with her and hold her like this until she had finished crying. He had let her sleep but would wake her up soon afterwards. What he had never done was something his mother had taught him.

"_A kiss, no matter where it's placed, will always let someone know that you care deeply for them, Eren._"

"_Sounds... Gross_." _Was his response. His mother just laughed, ruffling his hair and telling him he just needed to meet the right girl. Eren had rolled his eyes at the prospect, muttering under his breath about Titans and the war. His mother had heard him, of course, but she just rolled her eyes and sighed._

Leaning forwards, lips brushed against Mikasa's forehead, before a soft smecking sound indicating that he had kissed her on the forehead sounded out. It was a lingering one, trying to voice out what he couldn't yet say.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, pushing you away, making you feel as if you weren't wanted. How could I even ask for your forgiveness?_

Looking down at her sleeping form, Eren swore he had seen a ghost of a smile grace her lips.


End file.
